I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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