Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
