Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
