I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
