I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
