i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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