is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize