Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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