I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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