No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
