just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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