break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
