Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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