Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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