I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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