Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My vagina is officially offended.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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