We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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