Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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