Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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