Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
