dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
