i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
