The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
