All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
