He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize