How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
