I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Hippo gnu deer
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
