Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
