he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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