How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
