And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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