It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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