He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
