If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
