I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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