I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
