i don't like sucking hair
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
