What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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