whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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