I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize