What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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