Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
