CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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