I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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