You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
