i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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