then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
