We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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