Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
