I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
