The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
