is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize