I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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