Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize