Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
