my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
