Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my sisters under your porch take her home
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
