My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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