wrigley field is MILF paradise
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
