he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
